Tag Archives: tickled

Oh these are good…

Coffee BreakReceived via email. Hilarious word jockeying to brighten up a dull afternoon!

Here is the Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational, which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter and supplying a new definition.

And the winners are:-

 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
 2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
 3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start  with.
 4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
 5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows  little sign of breaking down in the near future.
 6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid
 7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
 8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who
doesn’t get it.
 9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
 10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
 11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
 12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you
 13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
 14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
 15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
 16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
 17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

Also published – the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers were asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.

And the winners are:-

 1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.
 2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
 3. abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
 4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.
 5. willy-nilly, adj. impotent.
 6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
 7. lymph, v.. to walk with a lisp.
 8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.
 9. flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
 10. balderdash, n.. a rapidly-receding hairline.
 11. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.
 12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
 13. pokemon, n.. a Rastafarian proctologist.
 14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
 15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
 16. circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

3 Comments

Filed under Funnies, Uncategorized

Hello world!

Welcome to Tickled, a blog for anyone with a sense of humour and an affinity with the written word.

As a content specialist, words are my friends. I spend a lot of time alternately loving them, hating them, wrestling and playing with them, all in the name of developing a meaningful relationship. Most of all I enjoy pulling them back into shape when they’ve lost their way… they often return the favour.

Like friends, words can clump together and astound you with their wittiness or cut you to the quick with their honesty. That’s what I love – words that make you think twice or laugh like a drain.

I’ll be posting things that tickle me gently along my writing path. I’d be honoured if you’d do the same.

3 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized